The Solar Apocalypse

Sorry for the clickbait title, guys. Is anyone here going to see the solar eclipse, though? I'm going to film it with my phone if I can.

 

The Man is preventing me from optimally positioning myself to soak up maximum spritual energy as we pass into this new phase of collective human experience...brah.

 

I am a flat-earther now, I don't believe in the sun. It is too divisive and should be torn down.

 

I hear if you stare directly into the sun on Eclipse day, you get special powers. I friend I know told me her friend's grandma started dreaming about the future after last Eclipse. My cousin's friend's sister said her grandpa could move things with his mind, like in Phenomenon.

#eclipsechallenge

 

I did that for an hour once for kicks. Everything looked slightly purple for the next two days, but other than that nothing happened.

 

I agree. I've got a plan for how to do that.

Here. This is an illustration of the basic idea.

 

I ordered some solar-observation glasses that allow me to look directly at the Sun. Before that, I figured out how to look at it using a very inefficient mirror. Both of these methods remove the glare so that I can really see it. (It really does appear to be the same size as the moon. Coincidence?) It's pretty impressive, honestly.

 

It is important to know what is important

 

Helios and Selene don't want us to be productive today. They may or may not want us to go blind.

 

My final words before the apocalypse:

 

Yay! I have special powers now!

 

Yeah I can do Kamehamehas now, it's great. 10/10 would stare into the sun again.