Humour Thread

Discussion in 'TT - Public' started by glosoli, Aug 30, 2016.

  1. Boneflour

    Boneflour Moderator SuperMod

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    Eric Gewlas: "You know I'd like to celebrate Christmas right now but these Muslim bans are stopping me" said nobody ever.

    Jon Jafari: Berlin: At Least 12 Dead After Truck Crashes Into Christmas Market -India Today Headline
    [​IMG]

    Life comes at you fast. Twitter is going to die, gotta write the jokes down for when the images don't work.
     
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  2. BiceBiceBice

    BiceBiceBice Well-Known Member

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    That's how you do it, take the piss out of everything they hold sacred, 120 characters to virtue signals is the epitome of civilized conduct, apparently. What normies, for a lack of better term, doesn't understand is that the whole internet is ours, there is no co-opting even going on at all.

    It was a better world for everyone when Mr and Mrs went online to check their e-mail, pay bills, the weather, and use dating sites to cheat on eachother, whereas the kids would play online deathmatches, threatening each other with death. Who really got hurt back in the day, on the Wild Wild Web?
    Not a single person.

    I blame social media for our rotten social climate, sure we used social media to elect a few winners, but the problems remains on how to reverse peoples behavior at least back to semi-normal.
    Mark Zuckaboo and social media is internet communism. That is real news.

    The Hill on Twitter | https://twitter.com/thehill/status/840382782476017664
     
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  3. jsl

    jsl Well-Known Member Baron

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    rekt.
     
  4. Boneflour

    Boneflour Moderator SuperMod

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  5. Son of Distant Trebizond

    Son of Distant Trebizond Member

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    K-selection is awe-inspiring...

     
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  6. Boneflour

    Boneflour Moderator SuperMod

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    Related:

     
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  7. Thalmoses

    Thalmoses Founder Administrator

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    I didn't think it was possible to make MLP:FiM any gayer.

    They should remove fat people from the gym. They trigger the gag reflex.

    Fortunately, gravity already thoroughly oppresses them.
     
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  8. Boneflour

    Boneflour Moderator SuperMod

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    If you're at the gym to improve yourself, great. Everyone has to start somewhere. I'd be happy to see a 300 lb fatty on the treadmill because that's a 300 lb fatty TAKING ACTION TO CHANGE. Also it makes the fit people look better by comparison. Win win.

    If you're at the gym to complain about fucking bathroom scales, you're a leftist. Go fuck yourself.
     
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  9. Ophiuchus

    Ophiuchus Active Member Typed

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    If you think about it, fatties are arguably the Most Oppressed out of any snowflake subgroup. As you said, gravity oppresses them. Their own lack of self-control oppresses them both spiritually and physically. Their own overfull lipid stockpiles oppress their internal organs with crushing, constrictive tyranny. And finally, other people oppress them through any number of ways. As a bonus, their odor, appearance and generally offensive presence oppresses others, which in turn simply galvanizes the whole process even further.

    Gonna go poast this on Gab now tbh
     
  10. Thalmoses

    Thalmoses Founder Administrator

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    I'm just targeting the fatties for SJW whining. I actually don't mind.
     
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  11. Ophiuchus

    Ophiuchus Active Member Typed

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    Yeah, that's fair. It's just that when people start attributing imagined oppression to factors that are, 99% of the time, well within their own control, it makes my widespace autism flare up something fierce. It "triggers" me, if you will.

    Troo words.
     
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  12. Boneflour

    Boneflour Moderator SuperMod

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    GET PUMPED:

     
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  13. Son of Distant Trebizond

    Son of Distant Trebizond Member

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    I get a real Gilgamesh vibe off the Pillar men; a depthless, pitiless sense of total power, of utter and unlimited right to press their will over all and to dominate. The pagan morality of absolute monarchy

    "Scarcely without a chill might a man have looked upon that King standing by the window; for there was in the tall lean frame of him an iron aspect as of no natural flesh and blood but some harder colder element; and his countenance, like the picture of some dark divinity graven ages ago by men long dead, bore the imprint of those old qualities of unrelenting power, scorn, violence and oppression, ancient as night herself yet untouched by age, young as each night when it shuts down and old and elemental as the primaeval dark".
     
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  14. BiceBiceBice

    BiceBiceBice Well-Known Member

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    That is the female economy in one sentence, delet this!!! Really disconnects my neurons.
     
  15. BiceBiceBice

    BiceBiceBice Well-Known Member

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    Congress votes to allow states to drug-test the unemployed | http://wgntv.com/2017/03/16/congress-votes-to-allow-states-to-drug-test-the-unemployed-tmwsp/

    "Florida enacted a law in 2011 that would have required that all welfare benefit recipients undergo drug screenings. Two federal courts deemed it unconstitutional, and Gov. Rick Scott announced he wouldn’t appeal to the Supreme Court. His failed legal battle left Florida taxpayers with a $1.5 million bill."

    Is welfare a constitutional right?
    Great law tho, the ancients would shart themselves in excitement, then weep when they realize that hard drugs in America are legal, namely; Burgers, alcohol, Burgers, opiods from the doctor, Burgers, coca cola, Burgers and more Burgers.

    Remember when the internet was younger and everyone was "muh weed"?!? Based doctors and their legal heroin, goes great with a Burger. Weed fags BTFO forever, based America.
    [​IMG]
     
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  16. Boneflour

    Boneflour Moderator SuperMod

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    This chart is literally "this line goes up", whole premise is bullshit, but "charts that go up" are so persuasive that has to be debunked by this book. The visualization of the data is persuasive even (especially?) when the underlying data is garbage. Reminds me of that "hockey stick" chart from when they still called it Global Warming.

    Corollary: If you want to convince people of something, add "charts that go up" to your cherry picked anecdotes and aspirational identity positioning. If you can get it on installments or a credit card, even better.

    "ThalForce will awaken the dormant superhuman epigenitics within you. It's like becoming an X-Men IRL! This chart shows the average epigenetic index before and after ThalForce. You can see it go waaaay up as soon as 24 hours after ThalForce!

    "I used to struggle to lift my laptop. Now I can lift my new Flying Car that I invented and built myself, like from Flubber! Thanks, Thalforce!"

    This epigenetic super serum usually costs over $9,000, but with this limited offer, you can get ThalForce for a few easy payments of $99.99! Try ThalForce today!

    [​IMG]
     
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  17. Boneflour

    Boneflour Moderator SuperMod

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    TREN WARRIORS, a SF short story by KANTBOT10K:

    “TREN WARRIORS” by KANTBOT10K | The Casper Review | http://www.caspermag.com/2017/03/19/tren-warriors-by-kantbot10k/

    "Orestes sat perched on one of the blown out building’s upper stories. The glass of the window had been completely shattered long ago, giving a clear view of the ruined street below.

    This had once been an office building, and there were still signs of that former life lingering in the wreckage. Fallen over cubicles piled on the floor. Rusted staplers.

    Papers, covered in dust and dirt and ash carpeted the space like moss. What did they even say? Out of curiosity Orestes picked one up and examined it casually. Numbers, columns, tables. The wealth and assets, the capital these figures once represented were long gone.

    Like a dread malaise pooling in the sky foreboding clouds gathered overhead. Strontium rain. The few people to be seen rummaging in the heaps of refuse outside would likely clamor indoors shortly to escape the looming poison shower, then again, they might not. The Dims sometimes didn’t seem to care what happened to them.

    They would stay put, guarding over whatever scrap of civilization they found, only to be washed away by strontium raindrops as they poured out of heaven’s maw over the dead city.

    God had burned Sodom and Gomorrah off the surface of the Earth like a tick, but this time he condemned the cities he destroyed to a long afterlife, perhaps as a warning to Man never again to attempt such things..."

    Full text is at the link: “TREN WARRIORS” by KANTBOT10K | The Casper Review | http://www.caspermag.com/2017/03/19/tren-warriors-by-kantbot10k/
     
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  18. Joshua

    Joshua Member

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    ALex jones agrees












     
  19. Joshua

    Joshua Member

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    shit ,,wrong link before keyboard is broken waiting for new


     
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  20. BiceBiceBice

    BiceBiceBice Well-Known Member

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